Part 3

It was now 11 p.m. The contractions were intense, I was uncontrollably crying ever since I got the first real contraction. I debated an epidural for 3 hours & I was to the point where there was no turning back. I was told the pain was just going to get worse, I had absolutely no energy & I knew I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I was scared, anxious, and REALLY afraid now that an epidural was going to lead to a c-section especially since the babies heartbeat was already not doing what it was supposed to be doing. I told Adam to go get the nurse. My family was rotating in and out while I was screaming in pain, I could tell everyone was just as ready for this baby to get here as I was. After being convinced the epidural would not make me have a c-section, it wasn't going to make me feel any loopier than I already was, & I didn't want to feel what was coming. I decided to get the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in 20 minutes later, everyone had to leave except Adam. Right as he cleaned my back, he got an emergency call that he had to attend to, leaving me on the bed prepared for my epidural. I sat there in the same position he had put me in for 25 min or more till he came back to give me the epidural. The contractions during those 25 minutes were the worst ones I had all day. They even at that point were starting to be felt in the front rather than just in my back which made it 10x worse. I know that 25 minutes gave me a good length of time to decide not to have the epidural but the pain was so excruciating that I knew I had to have the epidural. He came back in and told me to lay my chin on my chest, relax my shoulders and not move even with the pain of the contraction. 

He tried to time it to where he was administering it when I wasn't having a contraction when he did it, but one came anyway. Being constricted when your in that much pain is indescribable. You want to react to the pain but have to sit there and endure every second of it. I didn't really feel the initial prick, but then he told me I was going to feel a large cramp in my back, I felt it twice before he was done, along was a shock that ran through my legs that he warned me would happen. That was by far the craziest part. It made my legs jump. Once it was done it took about 15-20 minutes for it to start working. I was laid on my side, and rotated every hour. They would pull the towel underneath me to rotate me since I couldn't move. Adam watched the monitor as my contractions spiked to an all time high, and I just laid there resting, not feeling a single thing which was awesome. I could finally sleep a little bit. I think I slept for maybe an hour, I remember talking to everyone and saying some crazy things since I was so loopy. She administered a catheter. I kind of felt it go in, it was a small pinch nothing too bad, the second she put it in she raised the bag up and there was pee in it, I was like "is that mine??" and she sarcastically answered back "well it's not mine haha". I couldn't believe I didn't feel myself pee. 

They checked me and I was dilated to a 7, things were really taking their course now. It was around 1 in the morning and I asked the nurse to check me again, I had been at a 7 right after I was given the epidural. She came in with a grape Popsicle, honestly that was the best thing that had happened to me since my water had broken. I ate it in like point 5 seconds. She told me it was time to start pushing, at that point I hadn't felt so relieved. My brother set up his iphone with skype on it so Katie, my dad, and Ethan could watch the birth from the waiting room, while Adam & my sister's accompanied me in the delivery room. Every time a contraction would come Adam would hold one leg up, and nurse Ashley would hold the other up and I would grab on to my legs while I was flat on my back and push as hard as I could. She told me to push through my stomach, and not to arch my back. We tried several different positions, sitting up right, laying back, holding the bars, holding my feet, holding my legs. Ashley used her hands to stretch out the walls of my vagina. Finally they said they could see some hair. I was so excited. They kept saying your almost there, your almost there, but my sister was being the truthful one shaking her head telling me I wasn't doing anything. I really actually did appreciate it. They kept telling me to push harder and harder, and honestly I was pushing as hard as my body was going to let me. My head felt like it was going to explode, my chest started to hurt and I couldn't do it. Adam would count to 10 every time, and I had to hold my breathe the whole time and some times I would just give up mid way. It was really hard to come up and do a crunch when you were laying flat on your back exhausted and couldn't feel your legs or lower back. 

Pushing was by far the worst thing I had done or felt all day. I could feel a sting where my (pee hole) was, I assumed it was the catheter and after a while they agreed to take it out for me but it must have been the babies head pressing on it. I defiantly felt pressure, but I didn't feel the baby come out. Finally they knew he was almost there and a swarm of people came in the room, 4 people were over by the bassinet thing, and 5 doctors/nurses/midwifes were surrounded around my vagina. My younger sister was video taping the whole thing upclose, my family was watching from an iphone, Adam was on my left, Ashley was down on my right, and Jaime was by my side on the right. I knew since the midwife was there he was coming. I ended up pushing for a total of 3 hours, that lasted forever. The doctor was in there for the whole last hour and one of the nurses kept threatening that I was going to have to have a c-section if I didn't push harder which was really upsetting. Ashley kept saying "get mad" "get really mad", that helped. They kept trying to make me look into a mirror to direct my pushing since I couldn't feel it but I didn't want to see it at all I was too afraid and grossed out. Finally I saw the midwife get something off the table & then she said "ok push really hard, he is going to come this time", I said "did you just cut me?" and she said yes and I told her I wasn't mad it probably needed to be done because Matthew wasn't coming, she said he would have fit but I wasn't pushing hard enough to make him come out. His head would come, and then suck right back in over and over again for 3 hours. Finally with 3 pushes as hard as I possibly could the head was out, the umbilical cord was around his neck so she was instantly cutting as fast as she could, she told me to  do one more push to get the shoulders out, I turned my head as soon as he came out & all the sudden everyone was rushing around the room and things were happening so fast, they took him to the table and started working on him right away, I didn't hear a cry for almost 5 minutes or more after he was born.

Next I heard my baby making a weird noise, the doctor was hitting him on the back, like back blows to get everything out so he would breathe. Adam and my sister were both crying, I felt no emotion, I was exhausted and in shock. The midwife started massaging my stomach and then Ashley like strattled me and pressed extremely hard on my uterus for the placenta to come out. I felt it come out, it felt like a blob, like what you think a jelly fish would feel like coming out of your vagina.  I laid there for an hour while she sewed me back up. I kept looking over to my left to try to see my baby but everyone was swarmed around him, taking pictures, and working on him to make sure everything was ok. I didn't feel the sewing. I remember saying over and over again can I please close my legs, please. Because all i felt was a huge cramp in my thighs and the sensation of stinging where my pee hole was still. Finally Ashley walked over to me with my baby and I said "mommy's here sweetie" and I sat there and admired every feature on him. All of it was worth it and I was so glad it was all over. I knew at that moment I never wanted to let go of him. 

Part 2

I sent a text to my mom & dad just warning them that I was going to the hospital to see if my water had broke & not to leave yet because it could be a false alarm. They both live around 12 hours away & can't afford two trips out here. The lady at the desk gave me a bracelet & sent me to the room next door where I met another woman at a desk (much nicer) & she had me fill out a clip board. After that was finished, we were then sent to a room similar to a doctor's office visit where I changed into a gown & laid on the table. For the next 20 minutes I spent my time calling my mom, dad, and sisters over and over again. The first to answer was my little sister Annie her response was (are you kidding, I have to work tomorrow, ugghhhhhh) & then she woke up my older sister. It took my dad almost an hour to get a hold of, his phone was surprisingly off & thankfully my little brother happened to be hanging out a  park at 3 in the morning & answered & rushed home to get my dad to wake up. Then my best friend Katie (God mommy) text me & asked if she could ride with my dad from Kansas to come too, so I was super excited she was going to be able to make it. The nurses came in & started asking me what was going on & asking for all my information. She told me there was two tests they could do to determine if my water had broke, she mentioned one was even expensive so she was hoping the other test would prove it had broke. She told me to lay back and cough as hard as I could. So I did, and sure enough I felt like all the sudden I peed myself. I can't explain to you how identical it felt like to peeing. Once it came out, it started coming out every time I moved or every 2 minutes for the next hour and lasting at least 8 seconds every time. I kept telling the nurse "are you sure i'm not peeing, will you just check".   She then asked me if I had a birth plan & I told her it was in the car, she looked shocked that we hadn't brought the bags in, but we didn't know it was for real. Adam went & got the bags & handed her the birth plan, I don't have a copy saved of my birth plan but here were some of the main points I had on it....

Birth Plan
-No pain medication of any kind
-No epidural
-Adam cut the cord
-Baby be placed on my chest right after birth
-Breastfed as soon as he is born
-Take a bath, walk around, bounce on a ball, nipple stimulation to induce labor
- Eat & drink what I want
- Minimal fetal monitoring
- Rip instead of episiotomy
-No pitocin for the delivery of placenta
- Wait till the cord stops pulsating to be cut

Let me just say, its nice to go in having a plan so you feel a little more prepared for the situation. But in my case, nothing prepared me for the labor I had. You have to have an open mind, because honestly your going to end up doing whatever the doctors say is necessary to keep you and the baby healthy. After my water had clearly broke, I was given a huge pair of granny panties & a large menstrual pad.  Then came the moment I had mentally been preparing myself for since day one, the IV. Yes, I realize I should have been mentally preparing for delivery of a baby, but I have a SERIOUS phobia of IVs, even though I've never had one, I've been exposed to them & towards the end of labor I was sitting on my hands trying not to look at my veins & crying myself to sleep at the thought of having to have one, I begged my doctor not to have one but she told me they legally could not help me with my labor if I didn't accept an IV, even if I signed a release form. Adam held my hand & my head away from my left arm so I didn't see anything, It didn't hurt like I thought it was going to hurt just a small prick, but once it was in I was uncontrollably crying because I wanted it taken out so bad, I hated the feeling it was giving my arm, I felt like my left arm was immobile and they put it in such a weird spot on my wrist that it kept pinching me. I honestly think I would have been able to handle labor better if I wouldn't have been so concerned with the IV the whole time. The nurses were really patient & understanding though & Adam explained them that it was a huge deal to me. I asked her to cover it up so I didn't have to look at it, She ended up cutting up a baby hat and turning it into a mini sleeve & taped it over my IV.

After what I thought was the worst part was over, we then walked to my delivery room. It was HUGE, & very comforting feeling. I sat down in the bed & was introduced to the nurse. The nurse was really cool she was from a different state and she was all about natural births. She gave me some advice on what I could do to ease pain & so on. I started off by walking around the room, still trying to get a hold of my mom, & just taking it all in. We set up our scentsy in the corner (wax candle) & put the apple smell in it. That was probably the best idea we had, it made the room not smell like a hospital & felt like we were at home. The nurse came in & told us I could be off the fetal monitor for 45 minutes, but then I would have to be on it for 30 minutes, & thats how it had to be until I gave birth. I wasn't really having contractions at that point, at least not ones that felt like they hurt just a little back ache. I finally got a hold of my mom but turns out she was on vacation so she wasn't going to be able to make it till the next day around 5, it was very upsetting but I knew my sister's were on the way & that my dad, Katie, and brother would be there in 10 hours by that point. My mom & I ended up texting all day. The nurse came in and checked me around 7 & told me I was only dilated to 1 still. The monitors had shown that my contractions were coming, but they were VERY irregular. My sister's finally showed up & my contractions started getting painful.

I thought at that point we were good to go, my contractions looked to be like they were coming regularly, my younger sister & I were using the contractions application on my phone to time them, even though the doctor's were timing them as well with the monitor. They weren't extremely painful, but they were similar to lower back menstrual cramps. Walking really helped to take the edge off. I decided to take my gown off & wear my robe & sticky socks w/ a nursing bra. I didn't care if any of it got ruined. I really didn't like being hooked up to the monitor for 30 minutes, I felt so restricted, we had to take them off to use the rest room, you couldn't really move or you would mess up the signal for the contractions or babies heartbeat. As one rolled around 11 hours after my water broke....I was still dilated to a 1. The midwife came in finally & talked with me for the first time, it was funny because she was the midwife we had had our doctor's appointment with the week before & she was the one who told us to go to Scalinis and get the eggplant. I was excited it was her, she was defiantly one of the midwifes that I liked & I was super glad she was delivering my baby. I saw several nurses throughout the day. Once 3 came around, they started talking to me about getting pitocin to induce labor because I wasn't progressing & my contractions had stopped coming regularly & were irregular again. I was so worn out & disappointed by that point. Then the nurse came in & told me she wasn't comfortable taking me off the monitor this time because the babies heartbeat wasn't doing what she needed it to do. She wanted to see it peak to 140, twice, in a matter of 10 minutes for a certain amount of time, which it never ended up doing again, so from 3 on, I was hooked up to the fetal monitor. It was the worst feeling in the world to know I couldn't get up & do things to induce labor on my own anymore.

At that point, the doctor's pretty much said pitocin was my only option. My water had been broken for 13 hours & I was increasing my risk of infection. I couldn't be taken off the monitor, I just had to lay there, I was dilated at a 2, things weren't progressing. I thought on it for another hour & finally told the nurse to come in and administer the the pitocin. I didn't feel anything for about an hour or so. Then out of no where I started getting contractions, they were really painful & just keep getting worse. Adam had me leaned over the bed rubbing my back, I was allowed to bounce on the ball right next to the monitor, we used combs, massage tools, heating pads, I kept vigorously sucking on lollipops & mints because I was starving & it seemed to take my mind off the pain a little. I was grunting & screaming it felt like the worst menstrual cramps you've ever had. They were in my lower back just like when I have my period.  I would run to the bathroom between contractions to go pee because every time I got caught on the toilet with a contraction it was the worst feeling ever. If I didn't have Adam hard core massaging my back I wouldn't have been able to handle the pain. I remember looking at the tv or a picture and just blurting out in my head every word I could think of that the picture had in it (water, blue, bird, grass, dog, vacation) it seemed to help me concentrate. Breathing was probably the hardest, your in so much pain its practically impossible to take deep breathes and control your breathing. 

When 7 rolled around Katie, my dad, and Ethan finally made it from Kansas. I was SO RELIEVED at that point. I was so happy they weren't going to miss it & I had my dad there. The contractions were so bad at that point I couldn't physically handle it anymore. I asked what my options were & she told me I could have nubain.  She said it would take the edge off the pain. After thinking it over for a while, all I could think about was "what if it messes with Matthew's heartbeat and makes me have to have a c-section" I kept asking the nurse if it was going to do that, and how it was going to make me feel, so on. Eventually after talking to my mom and dad about it enough, I took the nubain. It didn't do anything for me, whatever edge they were talking about was still there clear as day & I couldn't take it. I started feeling delusional & so tired I couldn't function. I could barely keep my eyes open and the pain was unbearable. I kept telling Adam "it hurts just as bad before, but now i'm super tired and can't think straight". All the medication did was make me feel loopy and extremely tired. Time seemed to be flying by at first but by this point it was going super slow & every minute was counting. I was so worried about the babies heartbeat, & anxious about the birth & all I could think about was having to have a c-section because I had been pinned to this bed & given all these medications. I was checked again and dilated to a 4, which wasn't much but it was comforting to know that I was actually getting somewhere. 

 Annie was eating a bag of doritos, I begged the nurse to let me have just  one but they refused and said I couldn't have anything because I was going to throw up. So I continued to suck on lollipops. By that point my nurse was named Ashley she was super pretty & young. She was really nice & was going to be there with me until birth. I was just happy to know that I had two woman that I really liked taking care of me. I knew they were annoyed with me though because of all the crying, and debating, I knew they were just trying to help me & I kept apologizing for being annoying. I just had never been in a hospital, with medication, and IVS and on a bed all day. It sucked. 

To be continued....

Birth Story

Matthew's Birth Story

Let me start by saying, I don't plan on keeping this story short or sparing any details. I want to remember everything about it while I have a fresh memory of it. Tuesday August 7th started off like every other day this month. A little hip pain when I woke up, feeling tired & anxious, lower back ache....the last month pregnancy symptoms. Adam & I went to the gym around 4, I decided to walk on the treadmill for an hour this time instead of 30 minutes. I started feeling a little cramping once I hit 30 minutes, so that motivated me to walk another 30. Then I went to the birthing ball (bounced around & swayed my hips in a circle) for maybe 15 minutes & started stretching. I wanted a MamaRoo Bouncer so bad for Matthew, I found one on craigslist for 80$ & jumped on it. We headed toward Atlanta to pick it up a Caribou Coffee, Adam got a extremely chocolately drink, I took a small sip. We got the bouncer & decided that since we were down in Atlanta we were going to go to Scalini's (an Italian restaurant in Atlanta). This restaurant has been around for quite a while & has been known for their egg plant parmesan. If you type it into google it will take you to their website where they have a whole page full of babies & their birth stories. The eggplant has been known to make over 300 woman go into labor within 48 hours of eating it. After eating pineapple, walking, having sex, bouncing on a ball, swimming, walking, eating spicy food....I was ready to try something else. I was only 38 weeks & two days, but once the last month hits you'll know how I felt, especially the last two weeks.

So, we got the eggplant to go, & then went to the Cheesecake Factory since we were down there & I got a piece of fresh strawberry cheesecake. Once we got home I sat down with my sister Annie & starting eating the eggplant & drinking some very berry juice. At first, it really wasn't that bad tasting, it reminded me of chicken parmesan. I really hate cheese, so eating four different types of cheeses was a bit difficult for me. The ricotta cheese was too disgusting to me, so I scraped it off. Annie took a video and picture of me eating it, saying this was going to be the first video before my birth & I kept saying "what if it doesn't happen" (i'm sure glad she got that video now) By the time I was almost done I felt so sick to my stomach I was practically shoving it down to make sure I got the full effect if it was going to work. I also grabbed a tuber ware of fresh pineapple I had cut up the night before & that helped me finish the eggplant. I felt really sick, thinking I was going to throw up....it was going to come out somewhere that's for sure. After laying down on the couch for a while, I felt better, and had to eat the cheesecake I had been craving. I ate the whole piece of cheesecake, it was so good. My sister stayed till about 12 or so that night hanging out with Adam & I. We went to bed around 12:30, it felt early to me, & generally when I go to bed that early I wake up around 2 or 3 anyway it seems like. But at two I woke up & felt a little gush in my underwear, it wasn't a big gush, it felt like when your on your period & wake up in the morning, when you first stand up just a little comes out, that's what it felt like. I decided to go pee & wipe so on & laid back down. Then it happened again when I laid down, so I got back up. Then I laid down again, & I felt like I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom & peed, but it felt like I peed uncontrollably for a second. Then when I laid back down AGAIN I started menstrual cramping in my lower back, extremely mild but I had this scary feeling like my water had broke, even though I had never heard of it breaking like that I was scared it did, I went downstairs, and started bouncing on the birthing ball alone in the dark, I didn't want to wake Adam. I was super tired after about 15 minutes so I went back upstairs & laid down & continued to feel little dripping in my underwear. 

I woke Adam up & told him what was going on, he was like "huh, what, what are you talking about", he was so tired & he wasn't really awake. Once he got the jist of what I was saying he woke up and said "what should we do, I don't know what to do, do you think your water broke". I went to the bathroom again, and was uncomfortable in the underwear I was wearing because they were wet & after changing a panty liner 3 times I decided to get a new pair of underwear. I walked from the bathroom to the dresser without any underwear on and a drop of something ran down my leg & After a while my cramping got slightly more intense so we decided to call the hospital, they told us to call our doctor. We called the doctor left a message & then they called back. The woman was really sweet, she asked me questions & said they really needed to determine weather my membranes had ruptured to rule it out just in case.  I was kind of in shock, I hung up the phone and told Adam we needed to go to the hospital & he got a smile on his face, I told him not to get his hopes up its probably just a false alarm. Even though both of our bags were packed it seemed like it took us 30 minutes or more to actually get out of the house. Adam was like repacking the bag I packed him. We took Snickers outside to go potty, grabbed the bags & the extra things that we couldn't pack yet, food & water for Snickers, I filled up my water bottle & we walked down to the garage to my car & began heading for the hospital. The whole ride we kept saying what if its not time, lets not get our hopes up.

We pulled into the parking garage, got out of the car, and left our bags in the car....we didn't want to bring the bags in if I wasn't in labor. My bag was extremely heavy. We walked in the door & Adam used the phone to tell the people who we were so they would unlock the doors because it was before 5 a.m. We went up the elevator, & the desk was right their as we got out of the elevator. The woman sitting at the desk had really pointy, long, red fingernails & was probably in her fortys. She asked why we were there & I told her my doctor's office was supposed to call and say I was on the way & what was going on. She asked for my information. She said "have you ever been here before". I was in shock, I told her I came here for my birthing classes, my office delivers here, I had a panic attack that I had come there before, I took a tour here. She kept looking and eventually found my information, but was extremely rude in my opinion. Her tone of voice was not pleasing me. I thought to myself is this really how the night is going to play out already. One of my friend's had told me they had a bad birthing experience at Kennestone so I was already worried. 


To be Continued...