My Blossoming Bud

Part 3

It was now 11 p.m. The contractions were intense, I was uncontrollably crying ever since I got the first real contraction. I debated an epidural for 3 hours & I was to the point where there was no turning back. I was told the pain was just going to get worse, I had absolutely no energy & I knew I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I was scared, anxious, and REALLY afraid now that an epidural was going to lead to a c-section especially since the babies heartbeat was already not doing what it was supposed to be doing. I told Adam to go get the nurse. My family was rotating in and out while I was screaming in pain, I could tell everyone was just as ready for this baby to get here as I was. After being convinced the epidural would not make me have a c-section, it wasn't going to make me feel any loopier than I already was, & I didn't want to feel what was coming. I decided to get the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in 20 minutes later, everyone had to leave except Adam. Right as he cleaned my back, he got an emergency call that he had to attend to, leaving me on the bed prepared for my epidural. I sat there in the same position he had put me in for 25 min or more till he came back to give me the epidural. The contractions during those 25 minutes were the worst ones I had all day. They even at that point were starting to be felt in the front rather than just in my back which made it 10x worse. I know that 25 minutes gave me a good length of time to decide not to have the epidural but the pain was so excruciating that I knew I had to have the epidural. He came back in and told me to lay my chin on my chest, relax my shoulders and not move even with the pain of the contraction. 

He tried to time it to where he was administering it when I wasn't having a contraction when he did it, but one came anyway. Being constricted when your in that much pain is indescribable. You want to react to the pain but have to sit there and endure every second of it. I didn't really feel the initial prick, but then he told me I was going to feel a large cramp in my back, I felt it twice before he was done, along was a shock that ran through my legs that he warned me would happen. That was by far the craziest part. It made my legs jump. Once it was done it took about 15-20 minutes for it to start working. I was laid on my side, and rotated every hour. They would pull the towel underneath me to rotate me since I couldn't move. Adam watched the monitor as my contractions spiked to an all time high, and I just laid there resting, not feeling a single thing which was awesome. I could finally sleep a little bit. I think I slept for maybe an hour, I remember talking to everyone and saying some crazy things since I was so loopy. She administered a catheter. I kind of felt it go in, it was a small pinch nothing too bad, the second she put it in she raised the bag up and there was pee in it, I was like "is that mine??" and she sarcastically answered back "well it's not mine haha". I couldn't believe I didn't feel myself pee. 

They checked me and I was dilated to a 7, things were really taking their course now. It was around 1 in the morning and I asked the nurse to check me again, I had been at a 7 right after I was given the epidural. She came in with a grape Popsicle, honestly that was the best thing that had happened to me since my water had broken. I ate it in like point 5 seconds. She told me it was time to start pushing, at that point I hadn't felt so relieved. My brother set up his iphone with skype on it so Katie, my dad, and Ethan could watch the birth from the waiting room, while Adam & my sister's accompanied me in the delivery room. Every time a contraction would come Adam would hold one leg up, and nurse Ashley would hold the other up and I would grab on to my legs while I was flat on my back and push as hard as I could. She told me to push through my stomach, and not to arch my back. We tried several different positions, sitting up right, laying back, holding the bars, holding my feet, holding my legs. Ashley used her hands to stretch out the walls of my vagina. Finally they said they could see some hair. I was so excited. They kept saying your almost there, your almost there, but my sister was being the truthful one shaking her head telling me I wasn't doing anything. I really actually did appreciate it. They kept telling me to push harder and harder, and honestly I was pushing as hard as my body was going to let me. My head felt like it was going to explode, my chest started to hurt and I couldn't do it. Adam would count to 10 every time, and I had to hold my breathe the whole time and some times I would just give up mid way. It was really hard to come up and do a crunch when you were laying flat on your back exhausted and couldn't feel your legs or lower back. 

Pushing was by far the worst thing I had done or felt all day. I could feel a sting where my (pee hole) was, I assumed it was the catheter and after a while they agreed to take it out for me but it must have been the babies head pressing on it. I defiantly felt pressure, but I didn't feel the baby come out. Finally they knew he was almost there and a swarm of people came in the room, 4 people were over by the bassinet thing, and 5 doctors/nurses/midwifes were surrounded around my vagina. My younger sister was video taping the whole thing upclose, my family was watching from an iphone, Adam was on my left, Ashley was down on my right, and Jaime was by my side on the right. I knew since the midwife was there he was coming. I ended up pushing for a total of 3 hours, that lasted forever. The doctor was in there for the whole last hour and one of the nurses kept threatening that I was going to have to have a c-section if I didn't push harder which was really upsetting. Ashley kept saying "get mad" "get really mad", that helped. They kept trying to make me look into a mirror to direct my pushing since I couldn't feel it but I didn't want to see it at all I was too afraid and grossed out. Finally I saw the midwife get something off the table & then she said "ok push really hard, he is going to come this time", I said "did you just cut me?" and she said yes and I told her I wasn't mad it probably needed to be done because Matthew wasn't coming, she said he would have fit but I wasn't pushing hard enough to make him come out. His head would come, and then suck right back in over and over again for 3 hours. Finally with 3 pushes as hard as I possibly could the head was out, the umbilical cord was around his neck so she was instantly cutting as fast as she could, she told me to  do one more push to get the shoulders out, I turned my head as soon as he came out & all the sudden everyone was rushing around the room and things were happening so fast, they took him to the table and started working on him right away, I didn't hear a cry for almost 5 minutes or more after he was born.

Next I heard my baby making a weird noise, the doctor was hitting him on the back, like back blows to get everything out so he would breathe. Adam and my sister were both crying, I felt no emotion, I was exhausted and in shock. The midwife started massaging my stomach and then Ashley like strattled me and pressed extremely hard on my uterus for the placenta to come out. I felt it come out, it felt like a blob, like what you think a jelly fish would feel like coming out of your vagina.  I laid there for an hour while she sewed me back up. I kept looking over to my left to try to see my baby but everyone was swarmed around him, taking pictures, and working on him to make sure everything was ok. I didn't feel the sewing. I remember saying over and over again can I please close my legs, please. Because all i felt was a huge cramp in my thighs and the sensation of stinging where my pee hole was still. Finally Ashley walked over to me with my baby and I said "mommy's here sweetie" and I sat there and admired every feature on him. All of it was worth it and I was so glad it was all over. I knew at that moment I never wanted to let go of him.